Dear Mom and Dad:
Things are going great here at the Colin Edwards Texas Tornado Boot Camp you guys sent me to. So much better than another week in the Poconos. Wearing my motocross boots instead of those silly Top Siders totally rules and there’s not one girl here named Muffy. Loving life.
I got checked in a few days ago and the people here are really nice. They don’t have camp counselors like those other camps you’ve sent me to. They have instructors. One of them smokes cigarettes, but he’s really cool and he sure knows how to ride a motorcycle. His name is Joe Prussiano and he’s kinda taken me under his wing. Some of the other instructors chew tobacco and I’m thinking of trying it at some point because you get to spit, but I probably won’t tell you if I do.
Just to let you know right up front: Your money is being well spent because I’m not in a stupid tent or some dumb cabin. I’m living large in this big old ranch house. They even put me in the VIP suite and my roommate is a big Danish guy named Henrik Larsen. He lives in New Orleans now and he’s a regular at the Edwards Camp. He says he’s pretty fast so I can’t wait to give him a whuppin.’ He seems like a good guy to know and I think if I end up knocking someone down and they get mad, he’ll have my back. Our room is rad. I let him have the big bed cause he’s big. I took the bunk because I’m small… thanks to you and dad, but that’s a story for later. The bathroom has a big shower and I really feel like a king here. Again, way better than the stupid Poconos.
I can’t believe how big this place is. It’s like freaking Disneyland only for motorcycles. Colin (yes, the Colin – the one with a couple of World Superbike Championships) took me for a tour when I got here. There are tracks going everywhere and the dirt is that cool orange stuff that we don’t see at home. Part of the place is even covered by this huge roof. Makes sense since it could rain and Edwards says he can’t let a little rain ruin a camper’s week. Our weather seems like anything other than rain. In fact, I was sweating like a fat kid in a donut shop just walking around the huge acreage with Colin.
I thought this place would be in the middle of nowhere (I still remember that stupid Dude Ranch you guys sent me to), but it’s not. It’s only a few miles outside of Conroe and this big badass lake that Colin lives on (I think he might be rich) so it’s definitely not in the boondocks.